Looking in the Mirror

There are many things that gaming continues to teach me, and many ways in which it continues to surprise me. I did not think when I first started that gaming would be my therapist in so many ways, or that it would teach me a thousand things about myself that I didn’t know.

I have been gaming two years now, and most of those have been spent in two long running campaigns. During this time, I have had two primary characters (a a dozen minors that basically acted like NPCs in other people’s games). Those two primary characters, Candy and Zarnian taught me many things about myself. For instance, both women are very strong willed. Anyone who knows me will be shocked at this, I know. Both characters care deeply for their friends and lovers. And speaking of lovers, both characters showed me things about my husband's and my relationship that I didn’t even know.

First, Candy gradually fell in love with another character, Adalard. Adalard was never meant to be Candy’s lover. I even had her semi-engaged to another man in her back story. But, Adalard was an NPC, which meant he was played by Jason. Adalard was shy, a little insecure, and very sweet. He was the one that took primary care of the six year old girl we found, and by the time he explained how though her parents were gone, they would always love and look after her, Candy was head over heels. It was still months of real and game time before she acted on it, and now they are married. I learned that all those qualities Jason brought out of himself to play Adalard were things I cherished about Jason.

So when it came to Zarnian, I was pretty determined to not have her fall for an NPC. After all, I already did that with a character and I am not about duplication. Nine months have gone by of Zarnian not falling for an NPC. She even had a few night affair with another player character, but that fell apart before it even started. I thought, I’ll keep her single. That was, until Trakas. Trakas is a character Jason created who is mysterious, strong, and has Jason’s actual laugh and smile. That laugh and smile are kryptonite. Zarnian has developed a huge crush on Trakas. Stuff happened last week in game that prevents her from acting on that crush, but I still learned that Jason’s laugh and smile can make me happy no matter what reality I am in or what I am doing.

Gaming has taught me many more things about myself besides what attracts me to my husband, but that can all be saved for other posts. So what has gaming taught you about any of your relationships or yourself? I would love to know. You can always reach me at thebadkittybakery@gmail.com.