Last night we playtested 5th edition D&D. If
you are looking for an indepth analysis of how 4th edition and 5th
edition differ, and which one is better… search the internet again. See, I am a
4th edition virgin. All I have ever played is one game of D&D
basic, and one game of D&D 1st edition. Some of you might be
stunned by this. After all, I play Dark Sun every week. We converted it to
another system, the Warhammer 3rd edition system. So even though I
own 4 sets of polyhedral dice, I usually use them as countdown markers when we
play Magic the Gathering.
Still, I broke them out, blew them off, and played a cleric last
night. The play test module was Caves of Chaos. Most of you are nodding sagely,
remembering your own adventures or misadventures there. Again, I’m a virgin. At
34, this was my first trip there. At the announcement others of our group were
nodding sagely, and at least one person looked terrified. I pressed on.
We arrived at our first cave. We had two clerics, one
wizard, a rogue, and a fighter with us. Eleanor, a longtime gamer has the
wizard and kept shuttering that she only had 11 hit points. I had 15, but 15
wounds in Warhammer gets you pretty far, so I wasn’t that afraid. And I could
heal, but the fact I could only use my spell twice before it went away was
annoying. Still, we went on. The first cave we encountered has goblins and one
ogre. At the sight of the ogre, there were more yips of terror than in a kobold
camp. We beat it and killed most of the goblins. We racked up XP, and some
loot. Life was good. Many of us were wounded and neither the clerics nor the
wizard had any spells left. We ran. I would like to say we made a tactical
retreat, and that is what we called it, but we ran.
The wound system was very different than I was used to.
Fifteen points hit points goes very quick when you can’t soak it with toughness
or armor. On the other hand, healing spells get you a lot more wounds back and
after a single night of good rest you are completely healed. Really? Your knife
wounds and mangled limbs just go away after a single night? I raised an eyebrow
and went back to the caves. We had hidden in a small grove where we buried our
loot.
When we went back, in the first cave we encountered, we had
goblins and hobgoblins. I wondered how much worse hobgoblins could be? After
all, they are goblins with an extra ‘hob’. Well, that hob means they have tons
of extra hit points, nasty bows, and bad intentions. Partially because one of
our dwarves (the paladin) was over anxious and broke down the door, they were
alerted to our presence. They did not like the fact we had killed many of their
friends the previous day, so they jacked our $hit up. Both our dwarves, a
fighter and cleric died. It was tragic. We tried to save them, but we ran. We
ran so far away. I am even reasonably sure we ran both night and day. We barely
got away.
Running back to town, we picked up our health and two more
dwarves (another fighter and cleric) that were cousins of the previous dwarves
and looked a lot like them. Anxious for revenge, and armed with a few healing
potions and extra armor, we headed back. We had extra healing potions, right?
Right?
We came across a new cave, and this one was filled with cute
little yipping kobolds. Remember I am new to D&D, so Jason told me they
were little dog lizard creatures. They were yipping, afraid, because we had
killed so many other creatures. They had so few hit points we could kill them
by kicking them. I felt like a monster, especially when we found a chamber
where they were all huddled inside, protecting their young. Both Eleanor and I
felt like monsters, but the guys were insisting they were a huge threat. I
thought, “We can kill them by kicking them, and there are babies in there! How
big of a threat can they be?” I didn’t act. Eleanor cast sleep, which put all
but 11 into a magical sleep. Now faced with 11 kobolds, I thought we should
just leave. But, the dwarves charged in. Threatened with instant death, five
kobolds surrounded each dwarf, and in a set of shankings that would make any Martin Scorsese film jealous, they killed
both our dwarves. I dove onto my fellow cleric so I could heal him, and the
rogue did the same for the fighter to give him a healing potion. Those cute
little kobolds? They killed us both. The only one that got away was the wizard,
who ran like hell and was able to out run kobolds and half movement.
What I learned
was Warhammer Fantasy 3rd edition is still my favorite system. I
also don’t care for dungeon crawls. But most the biggest lesson I took from
last night? Kobold’s are dicks.


